Air We Share

I opened LinkedIn to scroll a bit while waiting for Dad to return from the senior center. Excited to see that a close colleague had written an important piece, I clicked in to read. I expected fierce commitment to cause and profound challenge to dominant power. I did not expect to find my own words briefly quoted out of context, turned back in a sideways slant.

We had been in professional conversation for several years, but something was rudely amiss, so I immediately paused our weekly meetings. We were in a relationship tangle that needed release, not pull. I felt mansplained, masked, and a mean stroke coming toward me from a person I admire. Time and self-inquiry would help me know better how to respond.

I read the essay a few times more, especially focused on what made sense to me and aligned with our conversations. Nearly all of it, but a few undignifying tropes were tucked in a throw-away paragraph. ‘Naive’ appeared thoughtlessly as a critique of change-oriented strategies. A scarcity mindset that doubles down on scarcity is a mental racket. Also obvious, framing an ‘other’ as a fool or foil.

It seemed my colleague hadn’t taken in much of what I had said. Years of deliberation and a whole social philosophy fit blithely into a few dismissive sentences. I understood it as an editorial error, too – a paragraph to either expand or drop.

I know this critique pretty well. Each time I dutifully ask myself, what part of my perspective is naive? How do I support a logic of abundance? What does it mean to be a white person committed to humane liberation yet awash in social brutality, in my own family history, among communities, and in the world? Not always enjoyable inquiries, but fruitful. Over the years, I have studied the roots of my own leadership, unpicked them, and developed more productive frameworks and methods to use and share with others.

My aim today is to gently peel back layers of this recent experience to find my own guidance. I’m right about something, not everything. How might I reconnect to the grounded theories and stable practices of emergent, abundant, and appreciative work? Especially now when the either/or universe is coming down hard on those in charge. How can I stay centered in enduring love and protect the spaces of possibility? Tenderly, how do I relate to a beloved who hears my words as pablum, if at all.

Leading together through a humane process involves heart, mind, body, and spirit. Recognizing the time-limited nature of our work, we also notice how time operates differently in all our lives. We are each leaders at the table, bringing a complex of characteristics deeply woven by personal, social, and professional experiences. We bring our own current circumstances and personal dilemmas, too. Drawing on strengths and teasing out opportunities, we work ourselves into social fabrics sturdy enough to hold joys and burdens collectively.

It is ongoing, complicated work for anti-racist leaders. We must act every day in ways that degrade systemic racism or grapple with the psychological and emotional grief of voice silence and choice denial. Creative leaders, in particular, are tasked with the urgency of now. Our visions and values are so sharp against the neglect, abuse, and horror in the world. Often, our deepest motivations are ancestral; given to us to be made real again in our lives now. To embody our work, we stay culturally-rooted, emotionally open, oriented to action, and available to change. Leaders with such vision and power are themselves reckoning forces.

Also, the job calls for grace and patience among people and circumstances that evolve over time, no matter our demands and according powers well beyond direct influence. For me, it has always been a choice to engage and build trust equity among the circles of love that are constantly conspiring to heal the godforsaken spaces where we humans malign life. Yes, the charge to the trust bank is arguably too high when the debt is held in the heart of a jackass. I overspend consistently when I am the jackass, or they are a friend.

Both/and circumstances are exceedingly uncomfortable when cultural changes are afoot. These sacred centers of overlapping work demand mutual devotion to retain their creative tensions. Our ancestors are fulfilled in our ambiguous and ambitious efforts today. Opportunities hard won before us actually belong to our children. Sad sacks, we are left with only what is ours to do in these days. Never everything, but we do have the air we share.